In a slump without a piece of cheesecake

edit: This cat is scary, I may or may not look like this at times(my family may say that I looked like it in the past few weeks, sorry my sweet boys). Also, what is the deal with those lines around it, they are not there when I try to edit!

I haven't made a post in a while. I don't know why. Maybe it is because I feel like I am in some sort of slump- emotionally, physically, and spiritually. A slump really isn't a good place to be. Today has been better so maybe I am on my way out of it. Here is what I have felt like the last few weeks.
Emotionally:
I look around and all I see is chaos. My house is not as organized as I would like it and it bothers me. Right now with two boys, it seems like I clean up one area and then I turn around and they have messed up something else. I know it just how it is right now but it still bothers me. I have a confession---- I am not good at house work and organizing. I wish I was but I just am not. I get big ideas but I don't follow through with it then I feel bad because I am not doing a good job with anything and then it feels overwhelming. I guess that is how I feel lately OVERWHELMED with it all. School starts in exactly two weeks. That means I have two weeks to get it together, plus get my classroom ready, plus go school clothes/supply shopping with J.C.(See), plus get on a bedtime routine, plus get some sort of chore routine figured out, plus lose some weight(I don't think the 1 and 1/2 pieces of cheesecake I just stuffed in my mouth are going to help with that), plus get organized , plus well I think you get the idea. I just put a lot of pressure on myself and then when I don't follow through or get the results I think I should get then I am disappointed. Man this isn't an uplifting post is it!
Physically:
Well, I have another confession to make- I need to lose some weight. I probably have gained around 5-7 pounds this summer plus I needed to lose about 20 pounds any way. This is not good for my self esteem and I hate it. Plus, I just don't feel good and energetic. I like how I feel when I exercise and watch what I eat but I just can't stick with it. For example, last week I did a good job keeping track of weight watchers points for a day and a half. Then I went to the fair and of course when you go to the fair you have to have a deep fried Snickers bar. Then on Wednesday my good teaching friend took me out for my b-day and how could I say no to a China buffet when she was so nice to offer. Then the next day was my actual b-day and what fun is it to eat salad and fat free cookies on your own b-day? It has all gone down hill from there. Why can't I stick with any thing? Diets, schedules, house work......geez
Spiritually:
Let me just say that I just feel like such a fake in this area. I have said for several months now I know what I should be doing(reading the Bible, having quiet time, being encouraging to others, helping, telling others about Jesus) but I am not doing it. I am very disobedient and this disappoints me to no end. I just do not feel very close to the Lord right now probably because I am not doing any of the above. We do go to church but I am also feeling discouraged there because some times it feels like high school with cliques and rumors. It is just hard to focus on what I am supposed to . I just feel like I need some time alone without distractions to sort all this out. On Friday and Saturday I will be attending the Women of Faith conference I pray that it helps me because sometimes I feel like I am just dog paddling through life!

Now not to be all complaining because that is what the above is perhaps I should at least write down some ideas on how to fix these things. I think I will start with the most important first:
Spiritually:
1. Read the book I got for my b-day "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World"
2. Get up early to have a quiet time and read my Bible.
3. Pray and have a "heart to heart" with the Lord, confess and pray for guidance(this should be #1)

Emotionally and Physically:
1. Write out a plan for housework and actually stick with it for at least a month
2. Write out bedtime routines for myself and the boys
3. Commit to 30 minutes of exercise, this will be easier once school starts
4. Give myself a break, I am not nor will I ever be super woman!

Sorry this isn't a very uplifting post but it is life. Do any of the rest of you go through this or is just me? I hope it just isn't me or I might have to go buy some more cheesecake!

Last week's menu went pretty well. There were a few changes though. We didn't have the crock pot chicken that I posted. Instead we had a much simpler recipe for chicken in the crock pot and we had brown rice with it. My two year old loved this. Then on Friday we each made our own individual pizzas. It was fun and tasty. This week menu is pretty simple because of two reasons: 1. It is so hot that I do not want to turn on the oven much(although I did make chocolate chip cookies last night, yummy). 2. Next week we will be on vacation(woo-hoo) and I am trying to use what we have already and not have too many left overs. So here we go!

Monday- grilled hot dogs & brats, mac and cheese, and peas. Yes we are having hot dogs even after this.
(Okay, I know that just links you to my blog, scroll down to the post called Just Jesus).
Tuesday- ravioli, green beans, garlic bubble biscuits
Wednesday- grilled chicken w/this marinade, mashed potatoes, California mixed veggies, fruit
Thursday- tacos, corn, black beans, fruit
Friday- smoked sausage, potato packs, fruit
Saturday- leave for vacation be back next Wednesday late

For more great recipes and menus check out the Organizing Junkie's Menu Plan Monday! Have terrific day and try to stay cool!

Just Jesus....

Yesterday, on the Fourth of July I had the displeasure of watching Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on ESPN. About eight men and two women(who each weighed 107lbs) shoved as many hot dogs and buns in their mouths for ten minutes straight. As the competition began it quickly became apparent that there were two clear leaders in the competition, Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi. These men looked like they were literally swallowing the hot dogs whole and then they would stuff the bun in their mouth drink a little water to make the bun slide down their throat. Now I don't know about you but when I add any type of liquid to a bun of any sort it just becomes a dough ball. I just can't see that sliding down my throat smoothly. Perhaps this is why at one point it looked like this Chestnut fellow was convulsing and withering about, the announcers called this his special technique of using his upper abdominal muscles to move the food down to create more room in his stomach. I just called it him looking like he had a problem. As time went on the competition intensified and the two men were neck and neck or dog and dog or something. Well with 15 seconds left they were tied and my husband exclaims "They need to shove as much in their mouths as possible because what ever is in their mouth will go towards their count." And shovel they did. It was at this time that I started gagging uncontrollably and my six year old proclaimed "That is sick" and left the room. As the bell rang to end the competition, the most horrible thing happened. Apparently, Takeru Kobayashi stuffed so much bun and hot dog down his throat that he reached his limit and he started spewing the contents of his mouth and stomach between his fingers for all the world to see. It was so gross and they kept replaying for our viewing pleasure, perhaps it was for dramatic effect. Poor guy he didn't even win. Joey Chestnut ate 66 hot dogs in ten minutes. So here sat the other guy, former champion, with throw up betwixt his fingers and on his shirt for the world to see. I can't imagine this felt too good, mentally as well as physically. Of course, Chestnut proclaimed he would eat another hot dog if he needed to.

Watching this I couldn't help but think of our society today. We are virtually in our own hot dog eating contest every day. We shove in more and more into our lives. Sometimes it is hard for us and we wither about trying to get more in. I think that people think that more is better. "Look at all I can do, all that I've got, and I can do more, get more if I want to." I think of it as the "Super Parent/Person" syndrome. For some reason in the last twenty years or so we have had the idea of more is better shoved down our throats like a big hot dog. Frankly, I am more and more getting choked on the idea of it. There are days when I crave the simpler times when people wouldn't be in such a rush, where it seemed like everyone cared about one another, and where everyone wasn't out to prove something. That is basically what it all boils down to, if I do more and have more then it must prove that I am someone, I am a success. In the last year I have found out that kind of thinking is so off the mark. Success to me is and would be if I am a person who serves the Lord. If someone looks at me and thinks "I want some of what she has" and they ask what it is and I can say "Jesus". Not money, not weight loss, not some magic pill-- Just Jesus. I want to be a light for the Lord so that my family and strangers will want that instead of meaningless things. Every day I need to keep this in mind because like everyone else I am human and I sin and get off track. But that is the wonderful thing about my Lord every time I realize these things he is there with open arms. I can imagine him saying "There you are my daughter, I forgive you and I missed you. Let's get back to work." People have it so wrong and I hope they realize it soon before they are standing there with life spewing through their fingers and a mess on their shirt.

Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4

Menu Plan Monday

After a busy weekend it is time to get back on track with Menu Plan Monday. Last week it was nice to have everything already planned out. I wasn't wondering what was for dinner. Hopefully, this week will work out the same but it is kind of crazy with the 4th being in the middle of the week.

Monday- Baked ziti with sausage,peppers, and onions
Tuesday- Grilled pork chops
Wednesday- I'm sure we will grill out again, maybe ribs or hamburgers
Thursday- One-Dish Chicken Supper(crock pot recipe from the Fix-It and Forget-it Cookbook)
Friday- Pizza
Saturday- Eat out
Sunday- Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, carrots(I love making Sunday dinner)

I want to try to eat in a healthier way. I don't want to call it a diet because I want to make a change in my eating habits that will last a lifetime. Some of the above might not seem healthy but if I use ww pasta and 2% cheese in the ziti that is a little healthier. The grilled stuff isn't too bad. Thursday and Friday may not be too healthy but I also I think it is about portion control too and making better choices. Check out Laura's site for more great meal plans and recipes.